80's Nostalgia and how Hollywood is taking my money

I was watching the Transformers movie today as I took care of my 2008 tax return online and I have to say that it does not hold up to multiple viewings. This is probably because I grew up with the original cartoon and toys (or generation 1 as psychos like me call it) and I get to be a whiny little bitch when it comes to the things I loved as a child. Now the first time I saw the movie in the theatre, it was not that bad in my opinion. Unfortunately that is because I had set my expectations SOOOOO low that the only thing that would have enraged me was Optimus Prime being killed and replaced with a stupid peppy retard.... wait wait.... that was the plot from animated movie in the 80's. So guess I would have accepted anything close to LOGICAL as long as I heard the original voice of my childhood hero Optimus Prime, which the hollywood overlords were so kind to provide. Hell, I think the ONLY reason they got the original voice was to shut up morons like me who cling on to nostalgia as if it were some sort of security blanket and would have caused massive nerd riots at the thought of some Hollywood star TRYING to sound like the leader of the Autobots. Of course, they then took advantage of this and replaced SOMEONE ELSE and now we have the potential fan fiction of Optimus Prime vs. Agent Smith from the Matrix. Back to my original point, on the 2nd viewing on DVD was passable and the 3rd viewing on cable was slightly annoying. When I made the decision to purchase the movie on Blu-Ray and go through my 4th screening in hi-def where I realized that this movie was falling prey to the Law of Diminishing Returns. 

To explain this I steal from my other favorite radio show host, Jim Rome. You see a box of glazed donuts, Krispy Kreme for example, and you eat one. Tastes great! You love it! Love it so much you hit a second one. It is great, but not as good as the first one. You desperately want that feeling from the first one back so you pound a third one. But this time, not so good, in fact it is starting to suck hitting the same donut over and over. This is the feeling I get each time I watch Transformers. Shia Lebouf gets less funny and more annoying. The attempts to modernize the dialogue of Prime by having him say dumb things like "My bad" get more LAME each time. Don't get me started on John Tutturo. 

Anyway, this pattern of going to the 1980's and pulling ideas from that era and modernizing them seems good on paper continues as the money keeps rolling in. For example, I saw the new trailer for G.I. Joe, another staple of the afternoon 80's cartoon/toy commercial lineup. (What's next? Thundercats?) I had been against the G.I. joe movie from when first heard of it, BUT they found the trap for people like me. Just like when I mentioned earlier that they tricked me with Transformers by getting the original voice for Optimus Prime, they hit me in the weak spot for massive nerd damage when I saw a 2-3 second sequence in the trailer where they had Snake Eyes fighting Storm Shadow. The FUCKING NINJAS from the cartoon! The MORTAL ENEMIES of BAD-ASS-NESS! Easily my favorite hero and villain from the damn cartoon. Yes, the fuckers who made this movie will be taking my 10 dollars. I really hate them. Someday I will find a way to make them pay, Until then, it looks like I will be the one paying them. Dammit.

Good Night and Good Luck

-Dre